by Vivian Moh
featuring Rahayu Natalya
In 2017, Natalya, about five months pregnant with Amelia, found herself single and homeless after getting evicted from the place she shared with Amelia’s father due to relationship complications.
This left her in a tight spot where she shuffled between places of residence. She had a short-lived stay with her aunt and her family due to difference in religious beliefs, then the hospital as she was at high risk of pre-eclampsia, a pregnancy complication as a result of high blood pressure and signs of damage to another organ system.
After months of hospitalisation, Natalya was finally discharged with her premature new-born baby who was suffering from medical conditions. She then lived in a budget hotel for a few weeks before Amelia’s father offered them a place.
However, Natalya never gave up her search for a more permanent home.
“I was denied and rejected numerous times. But that didn’t deter me from being more aggressive and to speak louder to be heard.” Natalya did all that she could to seek letters of recommendation from medical and social services, and even approached Member of Parliament (MP), Mr Christopher de Souza, appealing to the Housing and Development Board (HDB) to grant rental housing for Amelia and herself.
Fortunately, about a year after her search, they moved into a one-room rental apartment in Punggol – a place they can finally call, their home.
“As women, we’re immediately held responsible for our actions once we fall pregnant, but I don’t believe we need to shoulder the responsibility alone. It takes two to make a child and I think it should be up to both parties to raise one.”
Natalya was determined to fight against Amelia’s father for the rightful child support that Amelia is entitled to.
After a year-long legal battle, Amelia now receives a monthly allowance and is entitled to medical coverage up to $30,000. This lightens some of the financial load that Natalya faces as a single mother struggling to make ends meet.
“For so long, we only had the bare minimum, but now I can finally afford more toys for my daughter,” Natalya said.
Despite these small wins, it was one of the lowest points in Natalya’s life.
Referring to the windows of her apartment, she said, “One day, I was just standing here and the urge to jump to end it all was so strong.” After fighting for herself and her daughter for so long, she felt so lonely.
“But Amelia saved me,” Natalya said at that critical moment, Amelia’s cries of “Mummy” brought her back from her suicidal thoughts.
It was then that her friend urged her to reach out to Daughters Of Tomorrow (DOT), an Institution of a Public Character charity working with women from low-income communities to upskill and provide the necessary support in their back to work journey.
At DOT, where they believe in empowering women through economic means to build a better tomorrow for her their families, Natalya found a community where she felt a sense of belonging to.
After attending the eight-weeks-long DOT Confidence Curriculum program, Natalya regained her confidence and was enriched with work-related skills before being connected Mr Eng Su, co-founder of The Coconut Club, who was very understanding of her circumstances.
However, that did not last long as Amelia soon fell ill and Natalya had to stay home to care for her. And although Mr Eng Su, promised her that there would be a place for her whenever she was ready to return to work, he soon passed away.
Thankfully, in October last year, DOT offered Natalya an intern role in their Women’s Support Team. After the internship she chose to stay on in a part-time capacity, where she is still making an impact today.
As part of Women’s Support, Natalya is engaged in a variety of work that ranges from liaising with corporate partners, guiding women to the appropriate resources and departments, to hosting and curating talks and events aimed at empowering and supporting the beneficiaries of DOT.
“Coming from the F&B industry, the role was entirely foreign to me. But it was about supporting women who are in similar circumstances as I was, and I was also already sharing with the beneficiaries regarding my experiences with Family Courts, so I gave it a go.”
As part of Women’s Support, Natalya engages in a variety of work that ranges from liaising with corporate partners, guiding women to the appropriate resources, to hosting and curating talks and events aimed at empowering and supporting the beneficiaries of DOT.
“Natalya is a real fighter, she never gives up.”
Kanak Muchhal, who also works in Women’s Support, shared that Natalya’s background and perseverance enables her to connect with beneficiaries who are in difficult circumstances, and her optimistic outlook on life positively impacts those around her.
“It melts my heart when Amelia looks at me with admiration and says ‘Mummy I want to work like you. I want to be you’,” To Natalya, the love and support she received from the DOT community has helped build a stronger and more confident her, and paved a better path for her daughter.
Apart from physical Work-In-Progress meetings with the entire DOT team once every two weeks, Natalya’s Work-From-Home (WFH) arrangement is perfect for her as she has to visit the Singapore General Hospital every other day due to her medical condition of end-stage kidney failure. Although this leaves her easily tired, she cherishes pockets of time with Amelia whenever Amelia is home after her 7am-to-7pm day-care sessions.
As a single mother who has struggled alone for so long, Natalya believes that it is easy for single mothers to neglect themselves in the pursuit of their child’s well-being.
“I matter too,” Natalya shared that it takes a conscious effort to remind herself daily that she has to care for her own mental and physical well-being first before she is capable to care for Amelia.
“Something so simple like grabbing coffee with friends was so unimaginable to the me of the past,” Natalya shared how this acct reminds and empowers her that she is in a much better place than she was back in 2017 and 2018.
With her medical condition, Natalya will be starting her dialysis journey soon. Yet, she is optimistic and thankful for her employers who are willing to work with her during this stage of her life to adapt to what she needs to do for her health and her daughter.
“My story is horrid from the start of my first breath but it will be a beautiful one full of strength for my last breath.”